Hello, These are my two Fantasy Teams...

I wanted to introduce you to my two fantasy teams. Please review them carefully. They will both be in the playoffs in 3 months or so and, as always, will be competing for a Championship.

He Hate Me is probably the most consistent performer in my college fraternity league. I was in a fraternity so long ago. I know membership in Phi Delta Theta is not merely a campus interlude, membership is for life, but it's nice that the boys...err...brothers still have this league up and running.

Dante Calabria is my high school team. This team finished dead last in '06, thanks in large part to a internet connection disaster and the auto-pilot function. Drafting LenDale White and Samkon Gado in the 5th and 6th rounds tends to demoralize a team. Regardless, I kept nobody in a 2-player keeper league and it worked out for the best.

You will notice I think very highly of DeAngelo Williams. He could be the breakout star of '07. Please post questions or comments. I do offer draft consulting at a reasonable rate. The addition of my boy Sands into my fantasy realm has caused me to second guess myself several times, but his luck is due to run out this year. My boy Schaff, the leading passer in the greater Cleveland area his senior year, happened to get LDT as a keeper. Anyway, I'm gunning for 2 rings in 2K7.

He Hate Me:

QB: Drew Brees, Chad Pennington

RB: Brian Westbrook, Willis McGahee, DeAngelo Williams, Michael Turner

WR: Javon Walker, Braylon Edwards, Reggie Brown, Anthony Gonzales, Matt Jones

K: Josh Brown

Dante Calabria:

QB: Philip Rivers, JP Losman (I waited a round too long for a backup QB)

RB: Rudi Johnson, Jamal Lewis, DeAngelo Williams, Kenny Watson, Mike Bell

WR: Terrell Owens, Andre Johnson, Isaac Bruce, Chris Chambers

TE: Todd Heap

DST: Chargers

K: Matt Stover

Movie buffs, can you name these actors?

VIRGIN!!!

I told people I was turning 30 and going to celebrate by going to the Virgin Festival. Some recoiled in disgust (women), some said, "Awesome!" (men), and some actually knew what I was talking about. Virgin Festival, two days in the Baltimore heat at Pimlico listening to music like The Police, The Beastie Boys, Wu-Tang Clan, Interpol, Matisyahu, among many others. Let me just run through some highlights.

First off, check out the picture of me at the Wu show. Yes, that's me looking like I have a monster lipper of Skoal, standing next to the crazy billionaire Richard Branson, with the RZA in the foreground, my boy Mario to my right. The chick next to Branson was trying very hard with him. I guess being a billionaire is like being a modern day monarch. She was rubbing Branson down like he was Prince Akeem from Coming to American.

So, the Wu was off the chain. They were a little late coming on stage, probably because they were trying to finish off a huge blunt right below me. You know what? Musicians smoking weed is a good thing. Probably not a good thing for Civil Servants, Athletes in season, Politicians, but musicians, it should be encouraged. The funniest moment was right after the show when Raekwon ran off the stage while the rest walked, and he headed right for the van where there was a Styrofoam container of fried wings waiting for him. Yes, Raekwon's fat ass was hungry.

The highlight for me...The Beastie Boys. Seeing them from stage left was unreal. They put on a show. They are so good at both hip-hop and punk and can weave back and forth seamlessly. There was a song when the beat from Unk's Walk It Out came on and it was euphoric. Mixmaster Mike is also such a great DJ. Beasties live is an experience.

The Police, yes, happy to have seen them. The Smashing Pumpkins, great job. Interpol, just buy their albums and skip the show.

Some recommendations: LCD Soundsystem, do some investigative work and listen to some stuff, they are really good live. Explosions in the Sky, I've been a fan for awhile and got to see them up close (see pic above). They are terrific on guitar and really rock. Their guitarist played so hard he fell and hit his head. This is the band that did the music for the movie Friday Night Lights. Matisyahu, great energy (see pic), great to see at a festival, catchy reggae and from what I saw backstage, a gentleman and a family man. I've never been much into electronic, but Danny Tenaglia, as my DJ friend told me, is a DJ's DJ. He's also really freaky looking, but he controls the room. My friend said Tenaglia is big with the guido crowd so see him live at your own risk. Just kidding, I love Italians.

Don't Hassle...

Gilbert, Oh Gilbert!

Won't you come to Cleveland for a ring? Yes, Washington can offer you an extra year on the max deal. An extra year of what? Mediocrity! Why not come to Cleveland, a young but experienced team ready to take a leap to the land of rings, champagne and banners.

You can:
1) Play with one of the rare superstars who shares the ball
2) Re-unite with Larry Hughes, the Ying to your Yang
3) Save on cost of living in Cleveland. Cleveland and Washington are both cold so just spend the offseason in Arizona or Cali
4) Go to a contender that is missing exactly what you're bringing; shooting, ball pressure, someone with ice in their veins, someone with the talent to stand side by side with the King. England has a King (or will when the Queen croaks) and a Prime Minister. Hell, that could be your nickname. I like it better than Agent Zero. The King and The Prime Minister.

C'mon Gil...Gil! Ask Ray Allen and Michael Redd how their max deals turned out for them. Come to C-Town.

Big Ticket

I almost feel like the NBA is turning into the WWE. First Tim Donaghy and now this. McHale, a really terrible front office guy mind you, trades Kevin Garnett to his old team for less than he was offered roughly a month ago. It reminds me of Danny Davis and some Eric Bischoff/Vince McMahon thing. Anyway, Al Jefferson and the 5 pick (either Jeff Green or Ray Allen pretty much) and now he gets Al Jefferson and about five players from one of the worst NBA teams in recent memory. Gerald Green might end up ok I guess, Gomes is from Providence and I shoudn't hate on him too much since my boy Hogan went there, but c'mon...Sebastian Telfair is a friggin perp, Theo Ratliff's expiring contract and some late 1st rounders.

Jesus, this really messes up my Cavs chances in the next year or two. I don't feel like the Cavs match up that well with the Celts. We're not deep enough to exploit their total lack of depth. Our coach is nearly as incompetent as their coach. Yikes!

Make no mistake about it though (Jesus, I sound like Stephen A.), the Celtics will NOT win a championship. I wouldn't think they'd beat the Pistons in a series. The Pistons have a deeper bench, a better coach (which is pathetic to say) and a more well rounded starting five. I think the Heat match up well against the Celts too. The Heat are definitely old, but Wade is coming back and they are deep, well-coached and if Shaq has anything left in the tank...Hell, Chicago is only going to get better in the years to come. For some reason the Cavs handle the Bulls well, but the Bulls are going to be a great team for the next 5 or 6 years at least. They're the team that the Celts won't be able to handle.

It's weird to say that the Celtics stole Garnett but might have made a mistake in doing so. I trust that Bill Simmons knows his team and having read his take on the Celts over the last two months I'm just confused. When the Celts got Ray Allen Simmons' said he's too old and about to dip, plus he had ankle operations. Now they get Garnett who has already peaked as a player and in doing so they give up Al Jefferson who is, according to Simmons, a potential franchise player. Yes the Celts will make noise next year and for a bit after that. They aren't going to win any championships unless they make more moves (maybe a veteran PG and some guys who can really bang down low because I don't think Rondo and Perkins are there yet). Are we to trust Ainge to complete this team? Simmons has been describing his incompetence in detail for a whole year now. What about Doc Rivers? How's that going to play out? What if one of the big three go down for any extended period of time?

Boston fans have to love it because they have no other choice. Would they rather be mediocre next season and keep Jefferson? They want to win and they want to matter. Accomplished. I have this gut feeling that in three years, with no rings to show for it and and old, expensive team, they're going to wish they had kept Jefferson, perhaps even Green. I really like Garnett as a player and have always rooted for him. That has to stop now that he's in the East.

Top Chef

Here's a review of Top Chef Season 1 winner Harold Dieterle's restaurant Perilla by famed food critic Frank Bruni. Bruni had a pretty humorous feud with restauranteur Jeffrey Chodorow, who gained notoriety in his epic battles with Rocco DeSpirito on the show The Restaurant. Chodorow's latest venture, Kobe Club, didn't merit a single star from Bruni, much to Chodorow's chagrin. Anyway, for those culinary-inclined readers, check out these recipes from the Times.